Loved this article about “decoy habits.” According to author Gretchen Rubin, “a decoy habit is a habit that a person claims to want to adopt—but really doesn’t intend to do. Often, decoy habits reflect other people’s values or priorities.” In other words, decoy habits are behaviors or activities we say we want to embrace because we see what others have celebrated or realized some level of success or credibility doing; but, are things we really are not all that interested in.
This is the fork in the road where “should” and “commitment” meet.
I used to run a lot. I loved to run. I enjoyed getting up early in the morning and take off down the road for a solitary jaunt. I loved the peace of the run and the cadence of my feet on the asphalt, while watching the quiet of the early morning transform into daylight.
I had many a friend say to me, “I wish I could run like you do. I just don’t have the time.” That is a “decoy habit.”
If desire truly existed, time would be made. Instead, expressing regret over an unwillingness to take action is easier than owning the creation of and commitment to a habit.
As you explore what you love, what you desire, what you will take action on — avoid the decoy habit. If you desire something — own it, live it, act on it, and keep after it. Or, quit pretending to have a desire and move on to something you can and will commit to.