April 21, 2011

Happiness is Being Consistent

There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” ~ Freya Madeline Stark

Consistency, continuity, congruence – popular words that are tossed around when discussing effective ways to live our lives. How many people really understand the power of these words? How many people really know what this really means?  It is one thing to say who we are and what we stand for, it is an entirely different process to demonstrate it by the way we live our lives.  When you live your values, your purpose, and your passion you do not need to tell people who you are; people will recognize, understand and see who you are by the examples in your life.  Living the consistency of your commitment in a manner that enables others to see who you are is empowering, gratifying and energizing.  Your happiness is connected to the consistency with which you live your live in commitment to and demonstration of what you value most.

I am a big believer that if I have to tell you what I value and am committed to in my life, means that I have not done a very effective job of living my values.  The phrase, “do as I say, not as I do” is a great example of being incongruent to our values.  We live what we value, if we don’t then we are not yet embracing those values effectively in our lives – yet.

The distance between being who we have defined we want to be and how we are actually living is a source of internal, personal frustration.  In attempting to convince others – telling them who we are — is our way of compensating for what we already know to be the truth of our inconsistency to our values and how we live them.  It is only when we are living in truth to our values will we find happiness with ourselves.

Many business organizations have statements declaring their value for their team.  Yet, they make no effort to educate, develop or effectively lead their teams.  How can you be committed to your team if you have no real mechanism that creates or nurtures it? This is incongruence.

Many individuals talk about their passion for loving and caring for others.  “Others” is a generic term.  How then, can you choose who you love and care for? Either you love and care about everyone; or, you are living an inconsistent value.  And, if you only have certain people you will love and care about – declare what that is and be true to those values.

I am committed to being in good health.  At forty pounds above the line, I am not living in consistency to my values.  I can tell everyone I know my passion for good health.  One look at my waistline and you know that I am not living a life consistent to those values.

Live the life that is consistent to what you stand for and who you are.  When you live the life that is true to your values, your mission, and your goals you will be happy.  Continuity and consistency is how you will find peace and strength in being all you, all the time!

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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.