April 20, 2016

Instead of Conforming, Change your Mind

Renewing of the Mind - 100Pedals“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…”
(Romans 12:2, NKJV)

One of the fundamental truths about my addiction journey is that nothing really changed until I did. As much I wanted and fought for my son to embrace recovery, nothing really changed in his life until he decided it was time. Despite his unwillingness to make a recovery decision in a timely manner, I knew I needed to make some changes in my life, regardless.

The motivation for the change wasn’t that I needed to find a new approach for helping my son find or embrace his recovery; rather, the motivation for change was when I realized how my life had become destroyed by my obsession with his addiction. In that moment of clarity, I began to focus less on trying to save my son from his addiction and more on facilitating my release from it.

This scripture verse provides great direction for transformational change. The first step is to not let the issues of the world suck you into the chaos. Nothing interrupts progress more than returning to the place you are trying to get away from.  In this case, “conforming” is allowing the presence of addiction to control your life in such a way that you compromise your rules, adjust your definitions of responsibility and accountability, redefine your boundaries, and accommodate behaviors you would never have tolerated before.  When you compromise your values and rules for responsibility and relationship, you are conforming to the world of addiction.

Not conforming and maintaining structure is a struggle for many parents and loved ones of those with addictions. In your quest to save or rescue, you alter, adjust, and compromise many of your rules and guidelines. In your mission to find any means necessary to help your loved one find or embrace their recovery you are completely willing to disrupt the existing structure and function in your life.

Removing or detaching from this pull of addiction requires a transformational renewing of the mind, body, and spirit. It means turning away from your fears of the unknown and learning to embrace the truths that come with your belief in Jesus Christ.  It means allowing your mind to accept and receive information that doesn’t feed your fears, but encourages you to move closer to God where you can find comfort in his love and in his plan for your life and for the life of your loved one.

The renewing of mind, body and spirit is not simply a series of steps or activities easily or systematically followed.  It is embracing in a process where you learn to trust God at every turn. It is having the presence to understand that as chaotic and confusing the situation may be, there is a divine plan at work.  Remember, God has plan. He is working his plan. He doesn’t need your help; but, He requires your trust.

Instead of getting caught up in the worldly battle of the addiction in your life, focus on transforming your mind by renewing your faith and trust in God.  Look to Him for His love, His comfort, and His peace.  Look to Him for direction and guidance in your life. And give Him thanks for His wonderful plan for all the people in your life and trust Him enough to get out of His and your way.  It will change your life and you may subsequently have greater influence on those around you, as well.


Are you trapped on the emotional rollercoaster of addiction? Has the addiction of a loved one disrupted and taken over your life. Dave Cooke can help. He’s an internationally recognized speaker who has made it his commitment to minister to parents struggling with addiction in their families. His powerfully insightful, faith based approach to the challenges of addiction have inspired and educated thousands across the country.

Contact Dave today to book him to speak at your church, parent’s group, business organization, or neighborhood association. Go to http://www.100pedals.com/speaker-dave-cooke/ for more information or email dave@100Pedals.com.

Did you know Dave is riding his bicycle across the country this summer? Cycling for Recovery is a 3600 mile, nine-week trip from LA to NY. He could be passing through your town. He would love to have the opportunity to speak at your organization, church, or bike shop. To learn more about the schedule and route go to http://cyclingforrecovery.com.

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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.