December 19, 2017

Overcoming Fear with Trust

If you haven’t yet discovered, I have a great deal of passion around my perspectives on parenting and addiction. While this was never a path I would have imagined myself on, I have been on an incredible ten-year journey with my son’s heroin addiction. It sounds strange to hear someone call a chaotic, painful odyssey through a life ravaged by addiction as “incredible,” but it’s true.  My experiences, while at first painful and disruptive, have provided me with insights and perspectives which completely changed my life and powerfully transformed who I am. It is from these impactful experiences that I often share my perspectives.

Over the past year or so, I have really struggled with the message in my content. I have so much to share and have so much energy, passion around my experiences. Yet, I have found myself holding back or diluting the message I desired to share. Much of this stems from my fear that my personality and energy may overpower the intent of the message. I feared that being authentic, being honest and direct, would get in the way of the message and I struggled to trust who I was on this journey with my message.

Lately, I have begun to trust who I am in my journey with my content. I have allowed my passion for what I have learned and experience to be apparent and a component of what I share. I have begun to trust in my commitment to helping others navigate their way through the chaos in a way manner which facilitates sharing my unfiltered, honest perspectives.  In the process, I am finding confidence in being authentic to who I am on this journey as I share my experiences and lessons.

Despite my fears of being too blunt or overpowering, I am trusting in my commitment to love and encourage others on a similar journey to benefit from my authentic perspectives. My fears periodically show up and causes hesitancy in sharing my truth. However, the more I trust myself and where I am on my journey, the more empowered and engaged I feel.

My parenting journey with addiction is very similar. I have experienced a massive transition in my life. I have learned to trust that little place in my heart to guide my interactions and responses with my son.  It used to be that I constantly was searching for the “right thing” to do or say with him. Much of my responses were cluttered with the emotional baggage of doubt and fear.  As a result, many of my past interactions with him rarely went well, left me with a sense of regret, and usually resulted in an outcome exactly the opposite of what I had hoped for.  As I struggled to trust myself with who I was as my son’s dad, my behaviors reflected my own brokenness and confusion. It corrupted how we would walk this path of his addiction because it wasn’t authentic and trusting.

Today, I approach my interactions with my son in much the same way I share my content with you. I trust myself, my journey, and my commitment in a manner which empowers me to be who I am, where I am, and whose I am. I am quite aware I don’t have all the answers, I am not always perfect in my execution, and I will always be learning, growing, evolving. However, moving past my fears and trusting in the educational and developmental impact of my experiences, empowers me to trust who I am and be real, authentic, and vulnerable with others, including my son. These changes have resulted in powerful shifts in my interactions with my son, others, and in my on-line content and those relationships.

It is sometimes easier to hold back because of fear, doubt, and worry than let go and be honest and vulnerable. As you work on your introspective personal development, you will learn to trust where you are and who you are. When you make the shift from fear to trust, you will discover others will make similar shifts with you.  It is in those shifts where lives can be changed and incredible outcomes experienced.

This is my last blog before the Holidays. To you and your family, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!


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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.