May 24, 2011

Personality Lost and Found

Work was great. I have found my calling.” ~ Brandon Cooke

It wasn’t what he said that made me so happy, it was how he said it.  The times have been quite rare in the past few years where Brandon’s particular humor has showed itself.  Brandon has always had his own unique smart-ass style.  It was not as much the words, as it was the combination of delivery and tone.  I liked his irreverent comments and his sense of humor. When Brandon revealed himself in those comments, I realized how much I missed it and how nice it was to hear it again.

One thing about all the changes we go through in life, we sometimes lose those things that we actually don’t intend to lose.  Brandon has been struggling for a long time.  Finding himself, being happy, battling his addiction, and staying in recovery have all been a massive challenge.  Lost in that battle was his humor and the joy of that humor.  Where does it go?  How can he get it back?  This is an example of the casualties of change—of the battle for survival and happiness.

We all long for aspects of our past that we relish.  For many of us it can be the security of our job, the comfort of our old home, the stability of a regular paycheck, the freedom to travel, or the confidence in our abilities and skills – or more.  As we work through our journey and make the adjustment or, at least, work on the transitions to our new reality, we settle in.  And, in settling in, we begin the transformation of ourselves and our new heightened awareness of our potential, our promise, our passion, and our commitment – all very exciting new frontiers.  But, have we given up something of ourselves along the way?  Like Brandon, have we inadvertently left something behind that we didn’t intend to our realize?  If we have, what do we need to do to rediscover it or find it before it is permanently lost?

Understanding who we are and what inspires us to be great have very little to do with our situation or our transition.  For who we are is what defines the foundation of our ability to weather whatever storm we are dealing with and provides us the strength and the character to accomplish what we have set out to accomplish.  It is the importance of these strengths and abilities that make them essential components to protect, preserve and rediscover.  If you feel like you are lost – that you are losing who you are – in your journey refocus on you.  For what makes you great is your gifts, talents, and abilities and not simply your will, focus, or commitment on your journey.  Those things keep you on course.  It is your unique abilities that give you confidence and purpose.

When I heard Brandon’s humor I was delighted.  He probably doesn’t yet feel the power that his humor provides him.  However, knowing that for a brief moment he discovered and projected it, gave me hope that he will continue to use it.  His wit is a tool that will help him laugh, create, and make others around him smile.  It will give him confidence and strength.  Through that he will continue to find positive opportunity on his journey.

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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.