November 3, 2015

Recovery will not happen on your timeline!

Exasperated - 100PedalsWhy can’t my addicted child see it? Don’t they realize what their addiction is doing to them?

You struggle to understand why they don’t get help, why they won’t change. Can’t they see that their addiction is wrecking their life? They can’t keep a job, they go to jail, they overdose, they sleep in the street, and they look awful. No matter what you say, they don’t want your idea of help nor will they admit they have a problem.

It drives you crazy. As much as you point out to them where their life is headed, it doesn’t seem to make a difference. And you just don’t understand it.

When it comes to the addicted mind nothing makes sense. No matter how many ways you share what you see; they just won’t acknowledge your perception of reality. Remember, they are not looking at their world through your eyes and it is impossible for you see what they see through yours.

Allow me to share some nuggets of truth:

Truth #1: “You cannot make sense out of nonsense.” Remember this.

Truth #2: To admit their addiction is a problem means they will have to do something about it.

Truth #3: They will come to grips with the consequences of their addiction on their timeline not yours.

Since you can do nothing to change their mind about their addiction, pray…

“…that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by Him to do His will.” (2 Timothy 2:26 NKJV)

When it is God’s time, something will happen. Not before and not until.

In the meantime what are you to do? Do what your Father in heaven does with you.

Even though God easily could, our Father does not remind us of our failings, shortcomings, or screw ups. He waits patiently for us to find our way back to him. He suffers through our struggles and feels the pain of our failings. He does not admonish or criticize us.

Instead, He encourages us. He reminds us how much he loves us. He forgives us. He offers us advice and guidance when we ask for it. He calls us. And, he waits for us.

We don’t know the timeline. We don’t know the plan. And, we certainly do not know the future. Only God does. Regardless of what we see, think, or believe, it is never too late for God. Despite your fears, you have no idea what God has in store for your child.

Have faith in His plan, trust in His power, be patient with His timing. If you must do something, follow His example for loving and caring for our precious children. Taking this approach will be a lot more productive than judging, criticizing, or fighting with your child. Love, Encourage, and Hope – let God do the rest.


Is your child addicted to drugs or alcohol? Are you trapped on the emotional roller coaster of addiction? Dave Cooke can help. He’s an internationally recognized speaker who has made it his commitment to minister to parents struggling with addiction in their families. Let him share with you how to create an action plan that will move you, your family, and your addicted child in a healthier direction.

Contact Dave today to book him to speak at your church, parent’s group, business organization, or neighborhood association. Go to for more information or email

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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.