March 19, 2011

Remember What is Important (Part 2)

Day 78: 28.9 miles/1:35

Remember what is important and don’t let anything distract or interrupt you away from that.”

Before reading this post, I would encourage you to read this post first: Remember What is Important (Part 1)  

Unfortunately, it seemed like it was only a matter of time before Brandon had another setback.  This morning when he walked into the kitchen, he had that look – animated, fixed pupils, jumpy.  It was obvious he was starting his day on a “high.”  I had experienced a day earlier this week where he demonstrated many of the other famous indicators of a person under the influence.  Following that incident, I made it quite clear to him – when he was straight – that if he wants to use he will need to find another place to live.  When he challenged my interpretation of what I believed about being high, I explained that we were at the point in our relationship where “he had no credibility and I had no tolerance.”  That was the end of the discussion.  When confronted with the obvious aspects of this morning’s condition, he simply left the house, frustrated and with nothing much to say.  I don’t know where he is – now you are all caught up.

From there, I got on my bike, rode 29 miles, made a nice breakfast and am getting ready to relax at the pool for a bit.  Do not think for one minute, I am happy or at peace with Brandon’s situation.  However, take note of my ability to focus on what is important – my commitment, my strength, and my mission.  I still struggle to understand the mind of an addict.  However, I don’t think anyone can explain the lack of coherent logic.  Brandon’s failures are not going to derail me from my mission.  They are not going to take away my ability to find a center of strength and purpose in my life.  I grieve for his troubles; however, I cannot lose sight of what is important to my mission, vision, values and goals.

When those around us intentionally or unintentionally disrupt our mission that is when it is most important time to focus on our goals.  It is the most critical time in our journey and it is the time where we are at our weakest in respects to staying on our journey.  Pain, disappointment, ridicule, scorn, or distractions are great disrupters to our success.  It sometimes can be a very small act or a monstrous event that knocks off course.  The challenge is to recognize its threat to our success and take action to stay on our path.

I am not sure I was prepared for a great ride.  I am not certain I can explain why I had a great ride.  I know I was thinking a lot about how Brandon started our day today.  In the end, I did not break from my routine.  I did not interrupt my habits as it relates to my commitments.  I remembered what was most important to the mission I had defined for myself, I reminded myself of all the successes and celebrations I had been experiencing to this point, and I made sure I stayed on my path despite the painful, disappointing distraction.  In the end, I had an incredible bike ride — pace, effort, course, mindset — it was really good!  Remember what is important and stay on your course.

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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.