June 24, 2011

Start by Believing in Yourself

Find someone to believe in – start with yourself!

This is the end of a pretty interesting week.  It certainly started off with a great Father’s Day.  I enjoyed the conversations and the notes I received from my children and celebrated it in a different spirit.  Hearing and reading that my adult children share their appreciation for the love, the lessons, and the bonding moments that we have experienced was awesome.   While they may have said these things before, Sunday was the first time I heard it, internalized it, and celebrated it.

From there, the rest of the week went to hell.  Most of the week’s events do not really directly involve me; but, they impact me and disappoint me.  It was certainly hard to feel accomplishment and joy when there is an unhappy and distressing activity around me.

Of course, I am not the only one dealing with and experiencing these types of life challenges.  The roller coaster ride of life can and does show up.  It can be distracting, it can be disappointing, and it can be disruptive; but, it cannot be derailing.  For all that I have gone through and for what I am currently managing, the one thing I have received from 100 Pedals is the mental and emotional conditioning to stay focused on my mission in life.

I have a lot of things I wish for and hope for.   The most important is for my children to be healthy, happy and engaged in those things that inspire and energize them and enable them to live their passion.  I believe in their abilities, their dreams, their potential, and in their unique selves.  I believe in their ability to accomplish whatever they desire.  And, for the most part, they are on their way — except for maybe one of them.  As I sit here writing this, I feel the pain, the anguish, the disappointment and the failures in the hopes and dreams of the one, for I, like so many parents, want so much for them in their lives.  Despite all my hopes and beliefs, there is still loss and pain, if for only one of my children.

In the end, everything I want for, offer to, and can give my children starts with the power of my belief in myself.  I cannot show them the path of joy, happiness, accomplishment, potential, success, or love without a steadfast belief in myself first.  They may not find their path the way I hoped or envisioned.  They may not take the easiest, most direct, or seemingly more efficient path on their journey.  Their journey is not a reflection of me as a parent or a condition of my love and admiration for them.  Their journey is theirs; however, the guidance and strength they need is found in the love and beliefs of their parents.

What they need, is the strength of a Father standing beside them with a strong belief in self and an even stronger belief in them.  They need an example of what it means to believe in yourself when all looks lost.  For then, they know what it looks like to persevere, stand strong, stay moving, and get things done — even when things were not going according to plan.  A father’s love may be all I have – but I believe in my ability to make that love worth a lot to them as a source of strength and inspiration, even when things aren’t all that easy.

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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.