July 21, 2015

Stop Arguing and Learn to Agree. Now!

Agreement - 100PedalsAddiction can destroy your family. Everyone deals with trauma in a different way. Some stand firm and persevere. Others become aloof and shut down emotionally. Addiction magnifies these differences, causing disagreement within the family unit: husband against wife, sister against brother, parent against child. Addiction is the great disruptor.

Don’t let this happen. Find the root of the problem and fix it. You might think your persevering wife, who stands strong through thick and thin, is your problem. Maybe she’s not. Or you may think the chaos created by your addicted child is the problem. Perhaps it’s not.

This is the problem. If you spend most of your time arguing with your spouse about your child’s addiction, you’re both at fault. Why? Because nothing is accomplished when you both are fighting for what you believe is right and forget to follow Christ’s example in conflict.

“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:1-5, NIV)

If your family has become a battle zone, look to God and work together in unity through prayer and communication. Come to agreement in action, not isolated in battle. Agreement is vital to the health of your marriage and your family.

“Amen, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there I am in the midst of them.” (Matthew 18:19-20, NAB)

When you agree to put God first and follow his word, he will not only provide the wisdom you need but he will also grant your prayer requests. Pray, study the word, and come to agreement with your spouse. Focus on making God the center of your marriage and family life, especially now. Agree to stop fighting. Agree together in prayer. And then agree to follow the advice you receive from God concerning your child’s addiction.

When you avoid the battle and stand together in agreement with God, there’s no greater power on earth. None. That’s how miracles happen. Watch and see!


Are you the parent of a child addicted to drugs or alcohol? The emotional roller coaster of addiction is not God’s best for you or your family.  Dave Cooke is an Addiction Coach and an internationally recognized speaker. Let him show you how to move your family back on track in a healthier direction by applying Christian principles.  To contact Dave for private coaching, go to http://www.100pedals.com/coaching/ or email dave@100Pedals.com. You’ll be amazed what a difference an hour with Dave can make in your life!

Are you on Dave’s email list? If you’d like to receive his monthly newsletter for the parents of addicted children and weekly blog post notifications, email dave@100pedals.com.

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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.