September 19, 2017

Struggling with the isolation

I have now been on the road with this Cycling for Recovery campaign over four weeks. At this point on the trip, the Cycling for Recovery van has traversed 5000 miles, I have cycled over 1000 miles. I have been in eleven states and have slept in twenty-two different rooms (thank goodness for multiple nights in one place). To say the least, I am road weary!

The daily cycling routine remains unchanged:

  • Get up around 6AM, grab breakfast, do a FB live broadcast
  • Jump in the van and drive to our starting point (we rarely finish at our lodging destination), fill up the water bottles, put on the cycling gear, check the equipment, have a word of prayer and depart.
  • At the 20-25 mile mark, meet the van, fill-up water bottles, grab a banana, and depart.
  • At the 45-50 miles mark, meet the van, fill-up the water bottles, grab a Perfect Bar and a fig bar (=lunch), and depart.
  • At the 65-75 mile mark, find the van, and call it a day.  After 4+ hours of cycling, its time to call it a day.
  • Find or return to where we are staying, shower, make some notes on the day, do a FB live broadcast and chill for a couple of hours.
  • Around 5:00-5:30, grab dinner.  Talk about our reflections on the day.
  • At 8:30 – 9:00PM, lights out.
  • Repeat.

When I am actually cycling, I am all by myself.  The van is usually five to ten miles in front or behind. All I have with me are my thoughts, which depending on where I am emotionally, physically, spiritually, or psychologically can be a good or scary thing.

Lately, I have been struggling with the isolation of the ride and the separation from the those I love most and the comforts of home.  To give you an example of where I was, last Friday, this is the conversation I was having with God:

  • I wish I knew what you have in store for this trip
  • I wish I didn’t need to be so far away from my family
  • I wish I didn’t feel so alone on this journey
  • I wish I was doing more of the activities I had hoped to participate in when I started this trip
  • I wish I knew how this thing would end
  • I wish I would enjoy these rides more than I am
  • I wish I could find more peace and confidence on my rides
  • I wish I knew why following your call is so difficult and lonely
  • I wish I could find myself celebrating more accomplishments
  • I wish I knew what was next for me on this journey
  • I wish I knew what you are trying to reveal to me as I plod forward.

You get the idea. I am experiencing a difficult and challenging time right now. I am blessed by an incredible community praying for me, encouraging me, and supporting me. I have a God who is protecting me and guiding me.  Yet, in my isolated, lonely moments, it is a struggle to find confidence and peace facing the unknown and undefined.

This journey is no different than your life’s journey. We all go through seasons and experiences which test and challenge our faith and our confidence. Like all storms, I know I will weather it, with God’s help.  However, when in the middle of it, every ounce of energy is required to find the faith live out this truth.

I am in New Orleans now. I am taking two days off from riding to reboot, reflect and recharge. I am certain a little quiet time, off the bike, alone with God, is exactly what is needed right now.

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Cycling for Recovery is a 3,300 mile cross country cycling trip.  The purpose of this trip is to raise awareness to the issue of substance abuse and addiction in our communities, while providing a message of hope and love to those who are struggling with addiction in their lives.

I need your supportPlease donate or contribute to this ride at http://cyclingforrecovery.com.

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Addiction in the Family, Cycling for Recovery, Parenting and Addiction, Uncategorized , , , , , , ,
About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.