May 7, 2012

The Best You That You Can Be

Who we are has already been defined; how we live, share, and embrace it is the breakthrough on our journey.”

How many times have you half-jokingly said to someone, “I am trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up“?

Why become anything? Why not be the best you that you can be?

Everything that you need “to be” already exists within you.  You have already been blessed with unique gifts, skills, talents, and abilities.  Whether you have realized or discovered them or not, they have always existed in you.

Many of us spend so much time trying to become something is because we have not yet discovered the awesome power embracing who we are.  Until we discover who we are — what gives us passion, gives and gets us energy, and where we find our happiness and peace — we are stuck trying to become something, rather than simply being ourselves.

This is a difficult lesson.  We have spent our entire life trying to discover a role for ourselves.  Based on what we believe about ourselves, what we have heard from others, or how we have been taught in school, we have always pursued a role for our life. Many have defined success and happiness in life by our financial successes, our job titles, our vacations, and our status in the community.  All of these yardsticks play to our belief that who we are is defined by how successful we are at playing a role.

What happens when you lose your job, your wealth,  your house, or your community status?  What happens when you are kicked off the stage and lose the role you have embraced or been connected to for so long?  It is in the loss of a roles that you may start to wonder who you really are because you have been dependent on this role for so long.  Often, this is an unsettling and disturbing process.  For many, there comes a stark reality that they aren’t really certain they are happy or comfortable with the role they have been playing; however, they have no idea how to connect or rediscover themselves.

In my journey, I recently came to the realization that everything I did was defined by creating something big.  I have shared this discovery in a previous blog.  Rather than simply embracing my passion for sharing the lessons of my life experiences as a resource for others, I focused on creating things that needed to become big in order for my passion to be legitimized or valued.

It was my quest for building things that could become awesome, that blocked my ability to simply guide and embrace what it is and what it will be.  Once I let go of all the building and construction of something big, I discovered the gift of my experiences for what they already were.  That is when I realized there is so much more energy, passion, and opportunity in the authenticity of simply being.

While this may be a puzzling concept, at first, I am confident that with patience and honest introspection you can retire the actor and embrace your authentic passion.

You know what energizes you.  You know what gives you the greatest joy.  Explore why those things are so important to you. Focus not on the role but on the emotional experiences and the joy associated with them.  Embrace these emotional experiences.  Focus less on what you were doing and more on what you were thinking, feeling, and being.  Make a commitment to yourself that you are going to seek out and live in that mindset and experience every day.  As that attitude, energy, and emotion become part of your behaviors and mindset, you will become more aware of activities, conversations, and opportunities that better match with who you are.

This may take some time.  It may take some work.  The most powerful advice I can offer through this process is to avoid creating or defining roles for this process – for it will only put you back on stage as an actor in your life, not a passionate person living their life.  Be open and receptive to those that come into your life.  As you come to and live this reality of who you are, the people you are drawing in are those with which your gifts resonate most.  Connect with them, share with them, and learn from them.

As  you shift from becoming to being, you will find incredible peace, joy, happiness, and energy.  And, you will discover what the future holds for you without having to concern yourself with becoming anything.  Now, go be the best you that you can be!!

About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.