Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. ~ Psalm 37:24
As a dad who has ridden the roller coaster journey of his experiences with my son’s addiction, it was very hard to accept I have no control over his choices. Much of what obsessively drove me to find some way to save, cure, fix, or help my son was my worst fears about the potential outcome of his disease. There were many potential scenarios and many of them were not good – jail, prison, homeless, overdose. I was determined I could rescue him, until I realized I couldn’t.
Only my son is able to save himself, provided he knows where to look for it.
When I read the above scripture, I struggled with the definition of “fall” is. Every time my son relapses, it certainly feels like more than a stumble. Even if it is only a stumble, a serious fall cannot be too far behind. And, there are a great many parents who live in faith for wondrous plan for their child’s life, praying they don’t fall, only to lose them to an overdose. That seems like a painful fall to me.
I have no idea what is in store for my son’s life. I have always had great dreams for him. I saw the promise in his gifts and personality growing up and envisioned how he would grow and share those gifts with others. Unfortunately, my plan for his life has no power or authority. There is a higher authority with a greater plan for my son. It took me a while to understand that concept. Now that I have, I am at peace with the gift that is his life.
I am my son’s dad. I will always protect him, pray for him, encourage him, and love him. I cannot do for him what he cannot do for himself. I cannot always be with my son. He is his own man with his life to live and choices to make. I pray that he holds tightly to the hand that can and will always protect him. He may stumble, he may even fall, but he will always be able to get back up provided he reaches for the hand that can and will help him. I can love him, encourage him, and assist him, but I cannot change or save him.
Addiction is a terrible disease. It makes monsters out of wonderful, beautiful people. We all love our children. We love who they were, what they can be, and we will never lose hope in their ability to return home. Unfortunately, we have no power over their choices or their addiction. The only source of hope for their recovery is in their finding, loving, and embracing a higher power to guide, inspire, and define their future choices.
I choose to find faith in the plan that exists for my son’s life. I reach out for the hand that guides me every day, that I will not fall in my most difficult and challenging times. I pray that my son does the same. For that is the key for him to find peace and recovery on his difficult journey.
May your week be blessed. Peace!