July 21, 2014

The story I am living and telling

“Some chapters just have to close without closure.  You can’t lose yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.” ~ Trent Shelton

Trent Shelton - 100PedalsBetween this quote and the picture, I may seem that today’s blog is officially Trent Shelton day.  It just may be.  When someone shares a series of concepts that precisely reflects a philosophy I embrace, why not passionately share it?

When I was planning today’s post, I wanted to share my perspective on the story we tell and the way it is reflected in how we live our lives. As the parent of a child battling an addiction, my story could be about his struggle and my journey with him in his struggle.

While the story of his addiction is very much a significant component of my life, it is not my life and it does not define how I live it.  I would love for my son to find a path to his recovery.  I pray for him to find happiness, peace, and joy in a life free from his addiction.  My hope for him every single day is that he moves closer to a path of purpose and clarity in celebrating and sharing the gifts, talents, and skills he has blessed with.  Because of my unconditional love for him, his story is a significant chapter in my life and my story.

That is where my story with my son ends and the complete story of my life begins.  For I am a dad to two other children, a husband to a wife who cares for me more than I deserve, and an awesome circle of marvelous, gifted friends; plus, I have been blessed with a unique set of my own skills, talents, and abilities that others are looking for me to offer every single day.

My life cannot be put on hold by my son’s addiction. It is not appropriate, fair, or responsible. He is living, making, and defining his choices.  They are his decisions. They are going to made with or without me.  Many times I do like, enjoy, celebrate, or appreciate them. Often they hurt, confuse, frustrate, and pain me. Yet, this is the path he has taken and there is nothing I can do to alter it. My gifts of unconditional love, eternal hope, and the offer of my wisdom and encouragement are the most I can deliver. That is a great deal and it is going to have to be enough. Anything more, impacts my life in adversarial ways and creates a detour on my path to living, loving, and celebrating what I have been called to do.

Every day I wake up I am presented with an amazing opportunity to live, celebrate, and enjoy the gifts in your life. This is my story.  The story will be told about my life is how I lived, grew, succeeded, loved, and celebrated my life despite the chaos and adversity around me. Those that come into my life have the opportunity to choose how their story is being lived and told. It is their story, not mine.  I am very careful not to lose sight of that fact or my story ends up getting lost in someone else’s life story. It is better to celebrate and enjoy my life to the best of my ability. I cannot chose how someone’s story is told, lived, shared, celebrated, or completed. All I have is the life I have been given, the gifts I been blessed with, and the calling to share those gifts in love to others.  That is my story and I am sticking to it!



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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.