June 10, 2013

What Are You Complaining For?

“Complaining is an external expression of an internal reality with a lifetime of consequences.” 

Complaining - 100PedalsI don’t have time.  I wish I had more energy.  My wife never listens to me.  My kids are constantly asking me for something.  I just can’t seem to run faster, jump higher, look better, or make more money.  And on it goes.

I am pretty certain each of us can easily share what we don’t have that we want, need, desire, or wish for.

How easy would it be to list what we love, enjoy, appreciate, celebrate, and embrace about what we have or who we are?

I have spent most of my life trying to be something.  The quest for a better job, a more significant title, or a bigger income has always been part of my professional wish list.  The desire to be healthier — skinnier, better looking, and more GQ — has been on my list, as well.  The quest for these things have succeeded in focusing me in on what I am not rather than what I am and in the greatness of the present.

Every single time I take personal inventory, the list of shortcomings is always longer than the list of my true successes, talents, and accomplishments.  The more I share to myself or project onto others what I am not, the more I am quietly complaining about what is missing in my life.  The more I block my greatness and own my failings, the more powerful my failings become in the scheme of things in my life.

As I approach my 50th consecutive day of reading my I Ching, there was a very powerful message that reminds me about the power of internal strength:

The proper response to conflict, whether it lies within or without us, is disengagement…When you act under the influence of inferior emotions — fear, doubt, desire, anger — you complicate your path to accomplishment.  All conflict is, in the end, inner conflict.

I continually remind myself of my commitment to the life I am living.  A big component of this commitment is recognizing and celebrating the gifts I have been given, appreciate them for what they have to offer me and others, and constantly share those gifts with others to help them discover the path they desire for their life.

Whenever I embrace this course on a consistent basis my world is at peace.  While I may be hit with an adversity along the way, it is in this state of peace, joy and happiness, that I am able to discover a solution to the challenge that keeps my on course and in balance.  When I don’t, I lose momentum, struggle to find my way, and always experience a loss in energy.

Complaining, criticizing, and judgement are all external expressions of our own internal reality.  Embrace the energy and the power and the gift that is you.  Celebrate and live that gift every day.  You will find more success, accomplishment, peace and joy in that space.


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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.