March 23, 2015

Whatever It Takes

“The depth of your success is measured by the intensity of your Commitment.” ~ Cooke, 2011

Commitment - 100Pedals

No one ever said it would be easy. They only said it would be worth it!

A big theme for those dealing with addiction – be it a loved one or the person themselves in the battle –revolves around change. In previous blogs, I have declared that “nothing changes until you do.” Change is required of everyone, not just the person with the addiction. As each of us has experienced, change can be very difficult.

Over the past seven years, I have witnessed numerous attempts at recovery by my son; however, I saw very little commitment to a true, sustainable recovery. I know this because the level of his effort when he goes into recovery is not a relentless, all-in mindset. He protects, defends, and hangs on to aspects of his life that keep him safe, comfortable and secure.

True change is not about comfort and convenience; it is about commitment and focus.

Like many, my son lacks a clear commitment to changing his life. He is more committed to the notion that this is too hard and too difficult than he is to the notion of doing whatever it takes. He is more committed to finding a path with little difficulty and adversity than he is about tackling the hard road before him. His is more committed to making sure he is doing the right thing instead of trusting  and believing in what he knows he needs to be doing.

Commitment requires determination, focus, and courage. It requires a willingness to let go of everything in order to find something new, better. It requires a clear vision of what the desired outcome combined with an unrelenting determination to get there.

Most of our failures occur because we didn’t clearly define or believe in the vision of the outcome before we started.  We didn’t mentally and emotionally connect to what it would look like or feel like to be in that outcome. Once you have a visual sense of accomplishment and can attach a feeling of that achievement emotionally and physically, there is little that will prevent you from persevering to get there.

True commitments are very powerful. They require resolve, strength, and courage. They are sustained by a clear vision to the desired outcome. Most importantly, once the vision is defined and you identify the path you need to take to get there, you must trust yourself and fight to stay on that path without hesitation, doubt, or fear.

While your loved one may be struggling to find or embrace their commitment to change, nothing prevents you from taking control of your life and making the changes you need to make in yours. It starts with a commitment to the vision for your life. Instead of thinking about what you could be doing, make a commitment to change your life and do it! Great outcomes and incredible changes are awaiting you. It will only happen once you commit to it and stay focused on realizing it. Believe and make it happen! Peace!

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Is your child addicted to drugs or alcohol? Do you feel like your live is spiraling out of control? I can help. I’ve been there. I’ve experienced your pain, anguish and despair. I’ve developed a 7-step strategy and program that helps the parents I coach to regain their emotional balance, so they can move forward again and help their kids in healthy ways. To learn more and obtain your copy of the e-book “The Seven Step Guide to Peace and Clarity” simply click here.

 

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About Dave Cooke

Dave Cooke is a dad on a mission. His mission is to help parents get control of their lives over the powerful, destructive influences of a child's addiction. As the father of a son in a ten year heroin battle, Dave knows all to well the challenges parents and families face. He also knows there is a way to find peace in the chaos. It is his mission to help parents discover their path to a healthier, balanced life even if a child's active addiction is still part of their daily journey.