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Real solutions for the parents of addicted children

Addiction in the Family - A message of Love and Hope

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As I bicycle across the country, I have had several wonderful opportunities to share the story of my journey with my son’s addiction and the powerful testimony of my transformation experiences from it. I finally took the opportunity to record one of these talks in order to share it with those who were not able to attend these talks or have the chance to hear this message. I hope you will find this message insightful and inspiring.

http://theaddictionconversation.libsyn.com/addiction-in-the-family-a-message-of-love-and-hope

I have been truly blessed on this Cycling for Recovery ministry in many ways. As I shared in last week’s post we have had numerous informal interactions along the rides that have all been significant God moments. This week we had several others which were all God. Each one of these serves as a reminder that God has me on the road with a definite mission and purpose. I praise Him for the opportunities he has given me to serve and glorify Him on this journey.

As I move through Chicago this weekend and on to Detroit, Pittsburgh and New York, we are perilously close to cutting this mission short as funding and support has not quite kept up with our daily requirements. While I know that missionaries often return home earlier than expected because their funding runs out, I am hoping that you have experienced something in this ministry that would move you to support me to the end of this ride. Our objective is to raise at least $2500 before next weekend. If we are able to achieve that outcome, I am confident we will be positioned to see this ministry through to New York on October 2.

If you able to contribute, your donations can be made to: http://gofundme.com/cyclingforrecovery.

Thank you for your encouragement and support up to this point. It has made a huge difference in the lives of many!

“I wanted to see what was special about this…”

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Sometimes I need to remember this is a special journey. Some days the routine can be and is a little mundane until I am reminded there is nothing ordinary about this Cycling for Recovery mission.

It doesn’t happen every day, but it has occurred enough that as I begin to reflect on all impromptu conversations I have had during the first five weeks, it is apparent there is something special happening here. Instead of rambling on about my personal experiences regarding these interactions, I am simply going to share a memorable quote from the ones that most readily come to mind.

“Changing your life begins with Jesus.” - Robert, Winslow, AZ

“My brother is so different today than he was before he went in, I don’t even recognize him. It is amazing. Too bad he had to go to prison for this to happen.” – John, Holbrook, AZ

“I have been sober for fifteen years, still have my house, and kept my teaching certificate. Thankfully, I didn’t screw up my life completely.” – Anonymous, Grants, NM

“You’re riding your bike across the country? That is amazing. Can I donate to your mission?” as she hands my wife $20 and drives off. – Unknown, Albuquerque

“I am an addict, I love what you’re doing.” Cade, Sayre, OK. Cade was so excited about meeting with us he shouted that out to us before he even put his truck in park. Of all the conversations so far, this one had the profoundest impact on me. We had this amazing conversation, shared a snippet of our stories, and had a word of prayer. I know God moved each of us in that moment.

“Are you riding your bike across the country to help others with addictions? I am in recovery from alcohol for thirty-two years. God bless you on your mission.” – Unknown, Stroud, OK

“I just had to stop and tell you I was a meth addict. I have been clean for six and a half years. When I saw your van, I googled your website and found out what you were about. I just had to stop and tell you I love what you’re doing.” Unknown - Tulsa

“I am biking from Chicago to Santa Monica. I just turned fifty and decided to do it. My goal is fifty miles a day for fifty days.” - Unknown, Springfield, MO

“I wanted to see what was so special about this…My sister had a bad addiction…It got so bad she was even homeless..She turned it around years ago and now she is a college professor…I know its complicated, but I do belief Faith needs to part of the equation.” – Ray, Waynesville, MO

“People today are disconnected and in a hurry. They need to slow down and enjoy where they are.” – Norm, Wildwood, MO

Every person I have the opportunity to speak with has a story, a dream, and hope. I am grateful for these interactions and for the slow motion experiences that come with cycling across the country. While some days are easier than others and the energy and joy that come from riding fluctuates, there is always a moment where God pulls me aside and reminds me why I am doing this. When he does and I listen, the experience that follows is incredible.

Wherever you are in your life, please take time to appreciate the gifts in your life today. Focus not on what is missing, not what you wish was different, or where you could be instead of where you are. For in that moment of gratitude, you will realize and discover that God has you exactly where you are supposed to be; that is the moment when you will be able to celebrate the work that he has begun in you. Trust in Him and give thanks for the gifts which are part of your journey.

“being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;” - Philippians 1: 6

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Dave Cooke’s Cycling for Recovery ministry is solely dependent upon the generous support of independent donations. The mission of this 3600 mile cross country cycling journey is to provide support and love to those who are dealing with the addiction of loved one in their lives, while providing education and awareness to others regarding the impact of substance abuse and addiction in our communities. Please help keep this ministry on the road by donating to Cycling for Recovery - http://GoFundMe.com/CyclingforRecovery. Your support is greatly appreciated. Thank you!

How to get unstuck and moving forward again!

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Those who are negatively addicted embrace a reality in their darkness that “this is a good at it gets.” In that mindset they lose hope and settle in to the situation they are in rather than move out of it. (Positive Addiction, Willam Glasser)

Those who are positively addicted look at their life and say “there has got to be an answer.” They spend their lives doing things that move them forward in pursuit of the answer. (Positive Addiction, Willam Glasser)

Last night I was reflecting on this journey, Cycling for Recovery and how it all evolved. Five years ago my bicycle became the mechanism that moved me to a complete transformation in my life. It began with a bike riding challenge because I knew that my life wasn’t going to be as it was, I knew there had to be an answer and something had to change. I got on my bike, rode it for one hundred consecutive days, and now I am riding it across the country because I know how powerful this approach is.

This transformational journey was prompted by a quest to find peace and clarity through the darkness and pain of my son’s heroin addiction. For a while, the parallel path of his addiction battles and my evolution as parent of a child with an addiction was the story. Now, his addiction is not the story. The story is of this journey I am on as I continue to move out of that dark place that was in control of everything. My life or my story is not about my children and their successes, failings, or struggles; my story is about the transformational journey that comes from a pursuit to embrace a life that celebrates and embraces all the gifts that have been placed in it.

As I look back on the last five years, so much has happened. I am developing a profound and awesome relationship with my heavenly Father, my relationship with my wife has improved tremendously, my children all comment on how much I have changed, I am tackling projects that scare me with a commitment that doesn’t deter me, and I have found peace and joy, even though life isn’t perfect or comfortable.

Stuck is that place where a loss of hope prevents someone from moving forward to the point they accept the situation for what it is and surrender to its power.

Don’t get stuck. Wherever you are tell yourself there is an answer and make a commitment to seek it out. Find an activity that mentally, physically, emotionally allows your mind to move away from the chaos to a quieter place where you can think, listen, and recharge. Follow your heart when you are called into action and block the fear, doubt and worry that often accompanies the call to action. Finally, trust and believe that God loves you, cares for you, and has a wonderful plan for you and your life. When you are actively taking care of yourself, moving forward in courage, and embracing authentic love in your daily routine, you are moving forward in very powerful ways. It will change your life!

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Please donate to Cycling for Recovery. If you have ever received any benefit from these blogs or articles, please help pay it forward with a contribution. Cycling for Recovery is a 100Pedals ministry. The mission of this 3600 mile, cross country bike ride is to bring a message of hope and love to family members who have been struggling with the addiction of a loved one while providing education and awareness to others regarding the issue of addiction in our families and communities. Click here to donate.

The Story soon to be told

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I am less than ten days away from embarking on a cross-country bike mission. Cycling for Recovery is a three-thousand six hundred mile cycling trip. The mission is to provide love and encouragement to those who are dealing with the addiction of a loved one in their life, while providing education and awareness to others looking to better understand this issue and its impact on our communities.

It is my plan to have one-on-one conversations with those who are struggling with the addiction of a loved one or those individuals who are battling an addiction. I see these interactions as a wonderful opportunity to hear their stories while offering them a message of God’s love. I will also be giving presentations and talks in churches and neighborhood organizations. Currently, I have confirmed eighteen speaking events and have six others in process.

I have always envisioned taking a cross country bike ride. Call it a bucket list item. When I realized I was focusing on this individual adventure and accomplishment in a self glorifying manner, I declared I would not do this unless there was a higher purpose behind it. Shortly after making that statement, God spoke to me in a vision where I was in the middle of nowhere, clearly on a bike trip, with a group of cyclists around me and a bible in my hand. That’s when I heard God say to me, “it’s a ministry, not a bike trip.”

The trip begins on Saturday, July 30 in Santa Monica, Ca and ends on Sunday, October 2 in New York City. The route will follow Route 66 to Chicago, through Michigan to Detroit, to Pittsburgh, up the New Jersey coast and end in New York City.

Almost everything is set to go. My bike is ready, I am as physically and mentally prepared as I am going to be, I have a support vehicle (a donated Sprinter van), and nine one-week volunteers who have offered to support me at various stages of the ride. The most beautiful aspect of these volunteers is that while some are good friends more than willing to take a week out of their lives to support me, others are perfect strangers from around the country who have been inspired, called to join me on this trip.

One of the stories is about a Dad from Texas. He is a cyclist who has a son battling a heroin addiction. He was originally going to ride with me the week I was going from Amarillo to Tulsa, until he had a heart attack. Not sure if he would be able to ride the whole week, he informed me he may have to back out. I asked him if he would be interested in driving the support vehicle that week instead. Now, both he and his wife will be traveling from Amarillo to Tulsa that week. They are renting a car to drive to Amarillo and then will be renting a car to drive home from Tulsa. He will also be riding his bike as much as he feels comfortable with. Judging from their email interactions, they are both incredibly excited to be a part of this journey. I am, too!

This is but one of many incredibly inspiring and encouraging stories.

God’s handiwork on this project is everywhere. Every time I started to struggle with the enormity of planning and executing a project of this scale, to the point where I was crying out for help or ready to give up, someone showed up with the gift of a resource, an offer to join me, or an incredible word of encouragement. God has always been there to remind me that I am not alone and that he has got this.

Everything is wonderfully in place except one component – financing. I stand at the starting line of this mission with almost no money for the trip.

This is where my faith enters the picture. I know that God is in control of this mission. It is his project. He has called me to take this ministry and ride with it. I have accepted His call and am faithfully honoring it. He has already wonderfully and masterfully organized resources and volunteers. I would not be standing at the starting gate were it not for His work and encouragement on this project.

While I don’t have financially what I desire in order to leave next week, I know that I will be going anyway with whatever I He has blessed me with. I do not know His plan, His way, or His timing; but, I do know that “with men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26 NKJV) I could choose to judge this situation from the eyes of man and quit; or embrace the presence of God’s greatness and move forward.

While I am standing in a very scary place, there is something peaceful about it. God has got this. I know there is going to be an incredible story once He reveals His plans for me in this adventure. I have never been this far outside my comfort zone; yet, I know that God loves me, has a plan for me, and will take care of me. It is in this truth, I press forward looking forward to the experiences of God’s greatness in this journey.

Stay tuned. There is a marvelous story about God’s greatness in this trip coming soon!

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To learn more about the Cycling for Recovery Mission: http://cyclingforrecovery.com.

To support Cycling for Recovery: http://gofundme.com/cyclingforrecovery

 

The impact of Embracing Truth instead of Fear

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When I find myself in that chaotic space of confusion and pain, it can a difficult process to find peace. When my life seems to be falling apart or disaster looms, I find that I can easily get drawn toward adverse, negative emotions and, simultaneously allow this mindset to interrupt my wonderful relationship with God. When I am in pain the anger and frustration that I feel sometimes make it difficult to move closer to him as I know I need to do.

I know it is not a healthy situation to be a place where I am moving away from Him instead of toward Him. Satan would like nothing more than to encourage me to move in this direction and interrupt the wonderful relationship I have with God, my Father. This is why I have become more determined about the discipline and the process of moving toward God when I am in my darkest place.

It begins by embracing what I know is true. Much of what I experience in difficult times is based on the emotions of fear, doubt, and worry. Whatever has occurred is causing me to be unsettled, concerned, distrusting, or fearful. None of these emotions are linked to truth, they are only byproducts of my fears or concerns about doing the right thing, knowing how I am going to get through this, or doubting that whatever is occurring in my life could possibly have a positive outcome. I am responding to a difficult situation by embracing my fear, doubts, and worries about the unknown, rather than finding hope in the unknown. My faith is being tested and my fearful reactions to the situation are adversely impacting my faith. This is where I need to be stronger and more trusting of Him and less concerned about my abilities to cope with or manage the storm.

Instead of embracing my fears about the unknown, I have learned to focus on what I know is true, the known. These are simple, basic truths that have been demonstrated time and time again in our lives that I choose to focus on and move towards in those dark, painful periods in my life:

  • God loves me more than I know (1 John 4:16)
  • God has a marvelous and wonderful plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11)
  • God will provide me a path through this chaos (1 Corinthians 10:13)
  • God is by my side through it all and he will never leave me (Isaiah 41:10)
  • God is teaching me, building me up and molding me through this situation (Romans 5:1-5)

When I focus on these truths, it moves me closer to my heavenly Father. It shifts my focus away from my adverse emotions. It reminds me of all the fulfilled and wonderful promises from He has made and honored. It feeds and rewards my faith, even in the most difficult of times.

Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to work these truths into my chaos. There have been times where I had to fight to embrace them. When I work at embracing these truths, it moves me closer to Him in a very powerful way. It is in Him where my true comfort lies.

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Are you trapped on the emotional rollercoaster of addiction? Has the addiction of a loved one disrupted and taken over your life. Dave Cooke can help. He’s an internationally recognized speaker who has made it his commitment to minister to parents struggling with addiction in their families. His powerfully insightful, faith based approach to the challenges of addiction have inspired and educated thousands across the country.

Contact Dave today to book him to speak at your church, parent’s group, business organization, or neighborhood association. Go to http://www.100pedals.com/speaker-dave-cooke/ for more information or email [email protected].

Dave is riding his bicycle across the country this summer? Cycling for Recovery is a 3600 mile, nine-week trip from LA to NY. He could be passing through your town. Dave welcomes the opportunity to speak at your organization, church,or bike shop while on this trip. To learn more about the schedule and route go to http://cyclingforrecovery.com.

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