Sometimes the noise can be overwhelming

December 9, 2025 by Leave a Comment

Do you sometime find yourself thinking the holiday season — the music, the traffic, the shopping, the stress — has become awfully noisy? There is so much going on — too much — this season at work, in the coffee shops, on the road that it is hard to escape, relax, and enjoy a little quiet time. The Christmas chaos invades our everyday life in so many adverse ways, it is often hard to enjoy the spirit of the season.

All that holiday noise is not too dissimilar from the chatter that goes on in our heads. Each of us has so much to celebrate, enjoy and appreciate about our lives, yet we allow all that head chatter to interrupt and distract us from a peaceful celebration or find time to enjoy the quiet enough to appreciate our accomplishments.

This holiday season take a moment to appreciate all you have. Celebrate your family, your friends, your fans. Give yourself credit for being a light in someone’s life. Remind yourself that you have had a good year and you are please with all you accomplished. Give yourself the gift of contentment every single morning for the rest of this month. Remind yourself you have worked hard and have given a lot to yourself and to others this year.

If, in celebrating the gift of you, you feel you haven’t done all you could, or been all you wanted, or have farther to go — that is okay. It does not mean you have not had a good year. All those thoughts are an internal encouragement to improvement in those areas. These are not failings. They are challenges. They are a call to action. Embrace the opportunity and view that call to action begins from a place that says:

“I have had a great year, accomplished so much and I am looking forward to the opportunity to build on it.”

The pressure to get things done, fight the noise and crowds, and work through the chatter — this is not a spirit of love, giving, or hope. You don’t like that part of the holiday season and you certainly don’t like it when it is between the ears. You can control the noise. Celebrate the gift of you and all you have done and be inspired to continue sharing the gift in every way you possibly can!

 

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Live With Passion, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: ,

Five simple steps to creating change in your life

December 2, 2025 by Leave a Comment

When you find yourself at that place where you are not celebrating the outcomes you desire in your life, you have two choices — do something or do nothing. Ultimately the situation will not change until you decide it must. The easy part is knowing what to do; the hard part is making the commitment.

Rather than getting all hung up on an overworked action plan, here are five steps you can take to change your future outcomes:

  1. Declare: “I am not satisfied with where I am.”
  2. Inquire: “What can I do differently?” or “What can I do better?”
  3. Explore: “How will this change the outcome I am experiencing?”
  4. Confirm: “This is what I need to do!”
  5. Act: “I will…” Make the commitment, challenge yourself, do the work!

Whatever the situation, there is a solution. Everything begins with embracing personal responsibility for the outcomes in your life. Once you openly, honestly, and receptively explore the options you will find the answer. Armed with the solution, the only step remaining is taking action and making it happen.

The answer is usually quite obvious. What holds us back is not the solution; it is the work, the risk, and the task of implementation. Have the courage to trust your path and embrace the challenge. Successful and incredible outcomes to change are just around the corner.

On Sunday, December 1, I challenged myself to step up and make some changes in my life. This challenge reflects behaviors and activities that I were once part of my life routine and that I had fallen out of. I have challenged myself to actively focus on making the necessary changes in my life to get back into those routines for the next 100Days. I will be sharing comments from my daily experiences on my 100Day Challenge Facebook Group. Please join me and follow along with my experiences and thoughts on this journey.

 

Filed Under: Make A Commitment, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

What kind of example are you setting?

October 16, 2025 by Leave a Comment

“What you do and say is always being observed by someone impacted by your actions.”

As parents, adults, and leaders the best lesson we can provide anyone, especially our children, is to lead by the example of how we live our lives. Telling someone what you expect, believe, or demand is only credible from a leadership perspective if that is the standard by which you both lead and live in your life.

Rule-ality #1: You are not exempt, above, or excluded from your own rules.

Rule-ality #2: You are required, obligated, and expected to follow the rules you have set for others.

  • If you tell your children to respect their elders, you cannot call your boss an idiot!
  • If you tell your children they are to obey the driving laws, you cannot blast through a red yellow light because you are running late!
  • If you tell your children that drugs are evil, be careful how you manage your own alcohol consumption!
  • If you tell your children they cannot lie, then you have to stop saying “don’t tell mom (dad)”!

You get the idea! Our children don’t listen to us. They do not need to. They only need to watch us. How we abide by the rules we set for them and those that are set for us, provides them all the information they need for creating their own standards.

You desire for others to be more responsible in their lives, yet you continue to be less responsible for how you manage yours. There is always a reason why you are exempt from the rules you don’t like; yet, others are not as easily exempted from honoring the rules you believe must to be honored.

The standard is the rules — like them or not. Don’t like them, then change them. Don’t like them, you must honor them anyway. Don’t like them, respect them until they are eliminated or improved. Set the standard. Be the standard — you have other option.

Your kids, your neighbors, your friends, your co-workers and your employees are all watching. If you don’t want this level of responsibility, too bad — you are the one that started demanding and expecting something from someone else. You created a standard. Now you have become a standard bearer of integrity and leadership to your own rules. Congratulations and enjoy!!

Filed Under: Embrace Responsibility, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: , , ,

Have the courage to stay on course

October 14, 2025 by Leave a Comment

Yesterday, the pastor spoke about cognitive dissonance — when what we are experiencing conflicts with what we expected or believe is correct. It is that moment of discomfort or doubt that may cause us to interrupt the path we are on because the expectations of our past experiences challenges the course. Instead of trusting the directions of our vision and mission, our fears and expectations disrupt our progress.

Succeeding in the face of this conflict required us to remain resolute, trusting the path. Stay on course and don’t stray despite the conflicts in your head. Have the strength and the courage to keep moving forward on the path you are on.

This talked triggered an experience I had when I was on a quest to complete a marathon in 1990. My first marathon attempt was in Detroit in early October. I had high expectations, had trained well, and had an aggressive finishing time in mind. I was ready. Early in the race, things didn’t go as I had envisioned. The more my mind struggled, the more by body complied with the chaos. Eventually, I gave up my pursuit at around mile 19. Convinced I couldn’t finish, I dropped out of the race.

I found my family at around mile 21. I could see the surprise and disappointment in their eyes. I always was a pretty powerful, strong, and determined individual — they were shocked I bailed on my mission. It was hard to explain to them the struggle. Mainly, because I knew I had let my mind win the war of the race.

With a little encouragement from a training partner, I decided to revisit my quest and entered the Columbus Marathon that November. I treated my Detroit experience as both a training run and as a reminder that success doesn’t come from quitting.

The night before the race, I was having dinner with my family at my Dad’s house in Columbus when my daughter declared that “knowing my dad, he will probably quit again.” Ouch!! I never saw myself as a quitter; but, Sami appropriately called me on my last big failing.

Though I was already determined to cross that finish line, Sami’s challenge certainly raised the intensity of that commitment.

I had a lot of support through the race. My family caught up to me at mile 6, mile 11, and mile 16. I knew they would be at the finishing line. My sister-in-law, four months pregnant, found me at mile 15 and ran with me until mile 19. (If you knew her at all, she has never missed out on any opportunity to get in a workout — ever!)

Around mile 20 I hit the wall as all runners do. The pain, the doubt, the painfully sluggish pace of each step started to take its toll. This time I reminded myself that no matter how difficult the journey, I was going to finish. The last stretch of the race was one long three mile straightaway into a fifteen mile per hour headwind on a very cool 35 degree day. I was struggling to keep it moving. My body had started to tell my head that I was done. But, I persevered.

I looked at the skyline of distant downtown Columbus and picked out a building. I declared that I was going to get there. Somehow, someway, without stopping that was my spot. I kept moving — one very slow, difficult step at a time. The buildings got closer. My building got bigger. I could finally see the finish line. It was right in front of the building I was running towards! After three hours and fifty five minutes of non-stop running (I didn’t even stop when I grabbed water along the route), I crossed the finish line.

Immediately upon completion the exhilaration and euphoria moving through my body was competing directly with the pain that was moving up from my feet through the rest of my system. I did it! I stayed on course! I stayed focused! I kept moving!!

It isn’t always easy, especially when we are battling very loud voices from within. The key to it all — stay focused, stay committed, and keep moving on the path you have chosen despite the obstacles and the surprises and you will cross the finish line.

 

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Learning From Experience, Make A Commitment, Managing Adversity, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Maintaining momentum over the forces working against you!

October 7, 2025 by Leave a Comment

“The directions of your actions when you find yourself in a hole define whether you are digging in or climbing out.”

Things do not always go in the direction we desire. We have good days and bad times. Sometimes the wind is at our back. Other times the climb up the hill is long, hard, and challenging.

If you are like me, I can feel when a slump threatens. I can choose to let the slump take me over and set me back; or, I can find a way to keep moving.

The 4th Wheel of Personal Leadership is all about making a commitment. Making a commitment is finding a way to keep moving no matter the situation. There is nothing more disruptive than lost momentum. Once that forward inertia is lost, recovery is more painful that working through the challenge in the first place.

Avoid letting setbacks create another adversity. Keep moving no matter what.

I have a good friend, Kristi Trimmer, who has taken her passion for running and inspiring other to an entirely new level with her Girl on the Run campaign. She is six months into a continuous road trip and adventure that started in Phoenix and has taken her to the coasts of California and Oregon, to Vancouver, Chicago, New York, Virginia, and Washington DC, and more! Along the way, she has been connecting with old friends, making new connections, and celebrating success by completing several half-marathons.

Despite having her car broken into, much of her running gear stolen, and suffering a serious achilles injury, she has not missed one single, solitary beat. Can’t run? No problem. Try cross fit. Windshield smashed. Get it fixed.

Keep moving.

Honor the commitment.

Wind, storms, peaks, valleys — adversity — is part of the process of each of our adventures. The directions of your actions when you find yourself in a hole define whether you are digging in or digging out. Whatever you do, keep moving and dig yourself out!

Filed Under: Inspirational Perspectives, Make A Commitment, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Trust Your Instinct

September 30, 2025 by Leave a Comment

The battle between instinct and intellect is a perpetual, ongoing fight. While it often possible to prove what is known, it is difficult to be confident and certain all is known about what is being proven.

When dealing in the absolutes of something such a math, we have learned to qualify and quantify the rule that we often trust our calculations. The rules of math as we have learned them give us confidence in the answers we come up with, unless we make a calculation error. In that situation the rule is probably still correct, but the answer is wrong.

How do we trust our “math” when it comes to the areas of our relationships, opportunities, and conflicts. How do we know what the rule is for the situation. How can we know that we didn’t make a calculation error or apply the wrong formula to situation.

We don’t!!

While we all desire to avoid making a bad decision, taking an incorrect action, or make an untimely move there are no success formulas to guarantee the outcomes. While we desire a certain result from any action we take, sometimes we calculate wrong. It happens. Sometimes we don’t calculate wrong . Which happens less than not.

Trust your instincts. Your subconscious mind spends a great deal of time — much, much more time than you realize — assessing all the situations in your life. Your brain is constantly calculating and recalculating the score, the situation, the scenarios, and the experiences of the past as it assesses your options. When your “gut” gives you that call to action, chances are it knows what it is talking about. The odds are in your favor that it has given you the advice that reflects the best answer for that situation.

Why don’t we take it? We don’t want to make a mistake. Who does?

When in doubt, where do we go? Often we go to a more conscious thought process, which is more deliberate and confusing than the fluid, continuous, subconscious thought process your brain has already engaged in. Or we go to our friends — the people who know you best, yet have no earthly way of knowing all the work your subconscious mind has already completed. Or we go to the source of the problem, who will spin their story in any way possible to minimize an adverse outcome for them.

Trust your instincts. Your mind has put in the time already. It has done the math, calculated carefully, and used the best formula to discover the solution for you life. Your instincts know you best, has your best interests in mind, and rarely makes a calculation error — trust in that!!

 

Filed Under: Embrace Responsibility, Learning From Experience, Maintaining Focus, Managing Adversity, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

What’s Your Story?

September 26, 2025 by Leave a Comment

“Every life story begins and ends exactly the same — the difference is what you do in between.”

Usually one of the first questions I ask people when I meet them is “what’s your story?” I find the simplicity of the question allows anyone I am talking with to share with me whatever they want - business, personal, a little of both. I open the door, invite them to share and I they to choose the topic. I have the pleasure of listening and learning.

Each of us has a story. Actually, there are two stories. The story you tell yourself and others while you are here on this earth and the stories others tell long after you are gone.

Every life story has three parts: birth, life, death. There is nothing really different in the beginning or the end. Each story begins and end exactly the same. There may be a special uniqueness about how we entered or left this world; but, that is only a small part of the story and it isn’t what most people will spend much time reflecting on.

How you live your life — who you loved, touched, inspired — is your story.

Years ago, my college swim coach reminded me that being the superstar athlete on the team was not going to be what people remembered. What they were going to remember was the experience of the interaction and how my life evolved following my college days. I didn’t get it at the time because I was too immature and self-absorbed about my superior athleticism (or so I thought) to grasp the power in the lesson.

I get it now. Each of us is living a story. It is the story of our life — who we are, how we lived, and what we did with the gifts we were given. I am not interested in creating or building a legacy because that is not the real purpose our existence. We are not here to build monuments as a testimony to our greatness.

I am interested in and committed to sharing the power of my gifts, experiences and love to those who need me and them most. It my quest that long after I am gone the gifts I shared are passed on to others in the same spirit of passion, joy and love.

That’s my story. What’s yours?

Filed Under: Live With Passion, Living Your Purpose, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

“Find A Way”

September 16, 2025 by Leave a Comment

By now many of you have probably heard about Diana Nyad and her successful quest to swim from Cuba to Florida at the age of 64. Whether 64 or 24, this is one momentous accomplishment. Having been a committed and dedicated competitive swimmer through high school and college, I can really appreciate the how difficult this quest is.

Back in the day, I used to swim somewhere between four and five hours daily. I would usually swim around 12,000-14,000 yards or just under 8 miles a day, six days a week. All I remember about that period was I was exhausted – emotionally and physically – at the end of every practice. Unlike many other sports, swimming does not offer a whole lot of down time between sets or swims to catch your breath, talk, or relax. Every single workout was a series of endless laps – back and forth, back and forth – in complete isolation. While there were other swimmers in the pool, working out with me, I was either racing against them or simply doing my thing in the water alongside them. The limit of my imagination and my experience is swimming eight miles over a five hour stretch. Even that seems amazing at my age considering I was swimming at that level nearly forty years ago.

About ten years ago, I decided to swim a 3.1 (5K) open water swim in the Detroit River. I loved it. It was a great mental and physical challenge. It took me just under 2 hours to complete the task. With that swim, reality took over and I had to admit that it is quite possible I am not as young as I used to be. During that swim I was reminded about the complete and total physical and emotional isolation that comes with swimming.

At 64, Diana Nyad found a way to complete her quest to swim 110 miles from Cuba to Florida. 110 miles, 53 hours – at 64! This was her fifth attempt at this crossing. FIVE attempts! Five times she went on a quest to swim 100 plus miles in complete physical and mental isolation. With each setback she increased her resolve and her commitment to accomplish this task. When she finally and successfully realized her objective she reminded all of us to examine our hearts and look at our dreams and quests and exorted us to “Find a way!”

Whatever your mission is, I am certain it is not as clearly mapped out as a 110 mile swim. What is lost in all the excitement of her 53 hour accomplishment is that it actually took her much longer to achieve her goal. It actually took her 35 years to accomplish her mission. From here first unsuccessful attempt in 1978 until her victory in 2013 – a span of 35 years – she never gave up, even when age, adversity, or doubt could have easily stopped her.

True, sustainable, and incredible successes often take time, commitment, passion, and perseverance. It takes the will to believe when no one else does. And, it takes the determination to “find a way” even if the answer, the solution, or the next step is not readily visible. Whatever you are dreaming about today, go after it, and “find a way”!!

Filed Under: Make A Commitment, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: , , , , , ,

I have had enough

August 26, 2025 by 3 Comments

Lately, I have been doing a lot of reading. My book list ranges from insightful, inspirational to those that are jarring reminders of the physical, emotional and psychological components of addiction. I need to read more inspiring books. It has been four hard, painful, sometime rewarding years. I have been on one very long, massive, challenging journey. I have had enough reality for a while.

I have finally reached my limit. I have embraced, accepted and welcomed responsibility for helping, guiding, inspiring and supporting others as they deal with this incredibly frustrating, confusing, and painful experiences of addiction in their lives. I am incredibly grateful for the transformations that have taken place in my life as a result of these commitments and have often found a positive, productive solution for my life in the face of this ongoing adversity, until now. I have had enough.

As I was reading the controversial novel, “A Million Little Pieces” by James Frey, I came to the realization that I am more angry, frustrated, disappointed than I was aware of. I have listened to the stories of other parents, read books and articles that provide additional insight and perspective, and continue to watch my son deal with the choices and challenges of his addiction. With each story, word or event, I feel the pain, frustration, hopelessness, helplessness and disappointment. It has been building and building. I have had enough.

I have had enough with this experience. I don’t want it anymore. I want it to go away and I do not want to deal with it. I know far more than I ever intended or desired. I feel far too much sadness. I see far too much suffering. I cannot even walk down the street without being cognizant of the pain in the faces of those who are lost. I want so much for the paths in these lives to change and know I am helpless to assist them unless and until they change their mind. I have had enough.

Addiction is a shitty, painful, dark, desolate place from which to find hope and change. It is a hole that few know how to climb out of and there is not enough love, wisdom, inspiration, knowledge, energy, and faith in my system to change it. I have had enough. No more pain. No more disappointment. No more lies, failures, falling down, and deception. I have had enough.

My heart is broken, my head hurts, my soul is dark, and my body is beat up. I hear deep songs and moving melodies with incredible, powerful lyrics and I think about my son and his passion for music. I go on these incredible, inspiring adventures and trips wishing my son was with me to share them. When I see him all I see is the face of the lost and I lose hope. I have had enough. I am committed that there is solution for every problem. I believe we all have the ability to change the course of our lives. It starts by recognizing what is blocking our path and make a commitment to remove or go around the obstacle to realize our outcomes. I am committed to sharing my story, inspiring others while finding my way through my own adversities. Though I will keep on moving — there is no other option — I have had enough.

The hole in my heart and the pain that I feel for my son and for those who are suffering as I am simply does not go away. For the first time in the whole range of this experience, I realize that there is limit to how much I can celebrate or enjoy or appreciate as long as my son is in the place he is. When it comes to my son, there will always be a dark place in my soul, something missing or incomplete in my life, and a void that cannot be filled. It hurts that much. I have had enough.

Filed Under: Managing Adversity, Practice Humility, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership

“Give” is a great four letter word!

August 19, 2025 by Leave a Comment

“Nothing is of more value than the people you connect with — the lesson, the experience, and the gift of that interaction is more impactful than the event itself.”

Hanging out with my Albuquerque buddies!

As I embarked and reflected on my recent twenty-two day driving and cycling adventure to the Pacific Northwest and back, one of the keys to the success of this trips was friends. I was introduced to new friends by old ones, I reconnected with old friends, and continued to expand and grow the list of people who I would call my friend. While I spent over five hundred hours away from home, much of it in the quiet solitude of my car or on my bike, I was never really felt alone. It felt like everywhere I went I was blessed with the opportunity to enjoy the gift of a personal relationship — new or old.

We spend far too much time focused on the pace, productivity, and outcomes of our physical dreams. As we chase our career path, improve our financial situation, raise our children and manage all those activities, it seems there is little left for sharing our time, our energy, and our gifts with others - especially strangers in need.

If you are looking at the act of being or becoming a friend as work, time, energy, and effort you probably benefit from adjusting your perspective. What is the cost of a smile, a cup of coffee, a kind word, a receptive or supportive ear, or an encouraging thought? You appreciate that gift from others, try paying it back even when it isn’t easy or convenient.

At my talk in Portland, one of the attendees asked me, “What do you do when you are giving love and the person isn’t giving it back?” My immediate response was, “Stop keeping score!”

We are busy. We all feel pressed for time and have so little to spare. Some times it may seem like everyone wants a piece of you — energy, inspiration, or advice. It can be very challenging to stop and give, especially when you are rushing through your busy day.

My advice to you is simple:

  • Be nice to a stranger today — a smile, a handshake, a compliment, a wave.
  • Take a moment to listen to someone who asks you “do you have a minute?” — give them ten and hear what they have to say.
  • Offer the gift of your energy, your experience, and your wisdom to an individual who asks for your help.
  • Celebrate every opportunity you have to be a light to someone else — it affirms who you are and what you offer the world.

“Every day that I don’t share my gifts, talents, experience, and perspectives is a day I may not be available to offer someone else exactly what they looking for. Because they are gifts, I do not have the right to withhold them.”

People come into our lives in a wide variety of ways and for many unknown reasons. They can become friends, acquaintances, trusted advisers, or more. Many add value, energy, and joy to our lives in ways that are not always predictable or foreseeable. I have been blessed with much more than I have given and am grateful to all who have shared their love, joy, and energy with me. Thank goodness no one was keeping score!

 

Filed Under: Practice Humility, The Four Wheels of Personal Leadership Tagged With: , , , ,
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