“We honor ourselves by living in commitment to our beliefs, values, and behaviors toward those who come into our lives for whatever reason.”
For those who didn’t catch the announcement on Facebook, I had a crash on my bike this past Saturday. A car unexpectedly made a right turn just in front of me and I couldn’t stop in time to avoid hitting him. Other than a scare, a scratch on the car, and a little twist to my handlebars all was ok. This was my first wreck. Thank goodness it was minor.
I would love to report I responded to this incident appropriately. Instead of calmly stepping off my bike and assessing the situation with grace, I threw into a bit of a rant at the driver for his unfortunate mistake. My choice of words, plus the volume and intensity of my tone were very inappropriate and unnecessary. I could attempt to justify my actions and say the driver deserved what he received because of his stupidity; but, in truth, we all make mistakes and no one deserves to be treated inappropriately, especially in light of an unintended mistake. Every one of us would appreciate it if our mistakes were handled with grace and dignity, not a tongue lashing. I didn’t do a very good job of honoring the situation, period.
Though I might be able to defend my actions in light of what happened, nothing justifies handling a situation in a manner that dishonors those involved. Which brings me to my thought for the week.
We know what are correct, appropriate, and necessary behaviors, actions, or responses. Regardless of what others do, whether others care, or even if others honor what they know is correct, it is not how we define what we do. We do what do because we know what is honorable and right. What is appropriate is how we define our behaviors, regardless of the circumstances or the popular trend.
We know what the rules, regulations, expectations, processes, and behaviors are for our lives. Whether others follow them, display them, appreciate them, or respect them does not excuse us from living in honor to them. We know what we stand for and what our value system is. That is our commitment and our yardstick for our behaviors and actions. By living in honor to this commitment at work, in society, in relationships, or with our friends we are honoring what we know is correct, appropriate, and respectful. We are always responsible for living in honor. When we do not honor others, we are not honoring ourselves. It is that simple.
Just because everyone around us is rude, or drives poorly, or doesn’t stay late to finish projects at work, does not mean we are excused from these responsibilities-we are not. If your children said, “every one else is doing it?” what would your response be? Just because everyone else is not living with honor, does not mean you are excused from living with honor.
I had every reason to be upset at the person who made an abrupt right turn into my bike yesterday. He knew he made a mistake and he felt bad about it. I dishonored myself and him by displaying my anger for the mistake. It may be understandable, but it is not acceptable. Nothing excuses me from behaving with grace and honor towards another person. I know what is right, what is appropriate, and what my commitment is. That is how I live my life regardless of the circumstances.
Honor yourself by honoring others. Lead the way and avoid following the trend. Your standard becomes the example and an exception to much of the norm. Have a great week!
Interesting side note: I had planned on this subject today before I watched a segment of Joel Osteen. Amazingly enough, his talk was about the same thing - Show Honor. This provides a wonderful perspective on this subject. I hope you will take the time to watch.
8 Responses to “Living in Honor!”
As long as you didn’t threaten his/her family or punch the person, I think you’ll be okay.
But yeah…tough to control your emotions when you realize you came close to serious injury.
No, I didn’t cross any lines. Thanks!
Right Dave, your adrenaline was raging. You were well into the reptile, early beast location in your brain -scared to death that you could have been hurt badly ! What I hear is that you were releasing all that tension in the moment.
But thanks for the thoughtful post and coming to the complex truth in retrospect. Honorable !
I will be curious how this experience has changed your ride. More cautious? Less risks? if so, for how long?
I learned a great deal about how fast an accident can happen, even at 18+ MPH. I will be more aware of the risks I am taking. It will not dampen my enthusiasm for riding. It will make me more aware of what my responsibilities are to remain safe.
it’s not too late to make it right… you would make that person’s day (week, maybe year!) if you contacted them and shared this…. it’s an honorable thought… put honorable thoughts into action!
Sharon, thank you. I had a great conversation with the other person last night. I had sent an honorable apology the night before. In response to that action, he called and we talked. Both of us felt much better about the entire event. Mistakes and accidents are a component of life. How we deal with them offers lessons for future occurrences.
David, I had a similar experience 7 years ago. I was hit by a truck on my bike on my way to work. Interesting enough, I had met the love-of-my-life, who lived in a different country and was wondering how I was going to be able to visit him after my boss took away all my banked time. I was on my way to work for a meeting about what she had done, and how to get it back. Wham….there was my answer…not a good one I can tell you. With a broken hand, and cuts and bruises, whiplash, I was off for an entire year. But guess what happened? I was able to get to know my boyfriend, get married and heal!
When we ask we shall receive…sometimes we have to wait for the circumstance in the current moment to become the past and let the “AHA” sink in. I am seriously grateful for that truck accident! LOL
Karen, thanks for sharing. While I was disappointed in my response to the incident, I have a great deal of confidence that this happened for an unknown reason. Your story reinforces that belief. Happy yours had such an amazing outcome!!