The story I am living and telling

“Some chapters just have to close without closure. You can’t lose yourself by trying to fix what’s meant to stay broken.” ~ Trent Shelton

Between this quote and the picture, I may seem that today’s blog is officially Trent Shelton day. It just may be. When someone shares a series of concepts that precisely reflects a philosophy I embrace, why not passionately share it?

When I was planning today’s post, I wanted to share my perspective on the story we tell and the way it is reflected in how we live our lives. As the parent of a child battling an addiction, my story could be about his struggle and my journey with him in his struggle.

While the story of his addiction is very much a significant component of my life, it is not my life and it does not define how I live it. I would love for my son to find a path to his recovery. I pray for him to find happiness, peace, and joy in a life free from his addiction. My hope for him every single day is that he moves closer to a path of purpose and clarity in celebrating and sharing the gifts, talents, and skills he has blessed with. Because of my unconditional love for him, his story is a significant chapter in my life and my story.

That is where my story with my son ends and the complete story of my life begins. For I am a dad to two other children, a husband to a wife who cares for me more than I deserve, and an awesome circle of marvelous, gifted friends; plus, I have been blessed with a unique set of my own skills, talents, and abilities that others are looking for me to offer every single day.

My life cannot be put on hold by my son’s addiction. It is not appropriate, fair, or responsible. He is living, making, and defining his choices. They are his decisions. They are going to made with or without me. Many times I do like, enjoy, celebrate, or appreciate them. Often they hurt, confuse, frustrate, and pain me. Yet, this is the path he has taken and there is nothing I can do to alter it. My gifts of unconditional love, eternal hope, and the offer of my wisdom and encouragement are the most I can deliver. That is a great deal and it is going to have to be enough. Anything more, impacts my life in adversarial ways and creates a detour on my path to living, loving, and celebrating what I have been called to do.

Every day I wake up I am presented with an amazing opportunity to live, celebrate, and enjoy the gifts in your life. This is my story. The story will be told about my life is how I lived, grew, succeeded, loved, and celebrated my life despite the chaos and adversity around me. Those that come into my life have the opportunity to choose how their story is being lived and told. It is their story, not mine. I am very careful not to lose sight of that fact or my story ends up getting lost in someone else’s life story. It is better to celebrate and enjoy my life to the best of my ability. I cannot chose how someone’s story is told, lived, shared, celebrated, or completed. All I have is the life I have been given, the gifts I been blessed with, and the calling to share those gifts in love to others. That is my story and I am sticking to it!

 

 

The Gift of Love and Understanding

This past spring I completed a 7700 mile journey across the United States. My trip, officially known as the 100Pedals Drive N Bike, took me through 20 states and 16 cities where I made eighteen presentations on my experiences and perspectives as a dad dealing with a son’s heroin addiction.

My audiences ranged from treatment facilities, recovery groups, parents support groups, and local municipal government events. I presented to over 500 people on my trip and was truly blessed by the experience.

Recently, I reflected on this trip and my experiences in New Jersey/NYC. The lessons and insights apply to us all. Click this link to view this article. Have a great day!!

An inspirational message of hope, love, and empowerment

My travels on this year’s Drive N Bike Tour were quite special. There were few days where I wasn’t behind the wheel of my car, in front of an audience of parents dealing with their addiction related concerns or, a little of both. While it was my intent to get on my bicycle, the weather and my schedule put a limit on those dreams. All in all, it was a wonderful experience and a trip that changed many lives, including mine.

I have provided this link to my presentation at the Saline School Board Meeting Special Presentation: 100 Pedals. This was one of those rare moments where I was able to record my presentation and share it. I do not own this copy and it is a link to the file that Saline Schools shared on their site.

Please take time to listen to it. At least, give me thirty minutes, which is the actual time of my presentation. The rest of the segment is the Q&A component.

If you know of anyone in an organization looking for an inspirational, insightful, and passionate speaker to share their perspective on this subject — please have them contact me. I would be grateful!

Change the Channel

Worrying comes natural to every parent. It is normal for parents to worry about their children. It is simply part of being a parent. A parent of a child with a substance abuse issue takes worry to an entirely new level - to the point it can begin to control their lives.

This video segment focuses on how to begin the process of managing worry to productively and positively reclaim a least a part of our life.

To watch video click here or on the image.

Brandon’s coming out party

On a recent Saturday morning, Brandon and I shared the microphone on a internet based radio show. It was the first time Brandon came out from behind the story of 100Pedals and shared his personal journey in public.

I knew Brandon was quite capable and likely willing to contribute and participate. Even though I was brimming with confidence for the outcome of this interview, I was incredibly inspired and impressed by the way he engaged and shared his story. This was the first time we had the opportunities to publicly share our respective perspectives at the same time. It was a very powerful moment for me as we reflected on our experiences and shared interesting parallel perspectives about our addiction related journey.

During the course of the interview, we each had an opportunity to surprise the other with a powerful, moving thought about our lessons and our new relationship. I do not want to spoil the experience, so I encourage you to listen through the entire show and you capture each of these the gems.

Brandon is over 230 days clean. He has made incredible strides in his recovery. As we all know, it is a daily battle. With every step I continue to be grateful for each positive movement and outcome in his life.

I hope you will be able to take the time to listen to this interview. I am confident it will lift your spirits and give you renewed hope with regard to the situation you are in!

The Path To Accomplishment

Far too many years ago, I attended a workshop focused around self-development. The workshop taught me how to take myself past the limits of what I believed possible. I loved the lesson and the experience of that workshop. It was the first time I was exposed to the notion that anything is possible if I do not allow myself to put limits on the quest or outcome.

As I reflect back on that experience, I am certain that one of my favorite quotes sums up one of the lessons best:

You don’t know what you are capable of until you put yourself in a position to do something you have never done before.

How many times have we shared an idea or a big dream with someone and their first response is, “that is so cool, how are you going to do that?”

Far too many hopes, dreams, and ideas have been killed by that question — whether someone asked us or we asked that ourselves.

You do not need to know that answer. If your quest is beyond the scope of what you have already accomplished, it is impossible for you to know how to get there. Discovering how to get there is part of the process!

There only three things that you need to know in order for you to start and maintain an accomplished path on your journey - vision, commitment and awareness. If you are doing something you have never done before, how can you possibly know what it will take to get there. How other people did something similar is not important — for it was their vision, their quest, and their commitment that drove them.

Instead of looking for answers as to how to get where you desire to go, that this approach:

1. Clearly define your vision: Understand, embrace, and internalize why you are pursuing your dream. Be clear as to what your finish line looks like.

2. Make a commitment: Once you know what your vision is, all you need is that first step. From there, it is a matter of commitment and awareness. Inspired, driven, and supported by your desire to cross that finish line, do something every single day, without exception to push yourself forward in the direction of your dream.

3. Be aware: Pay attention on your journey. The next steps, actions, and opportunities present themselves as you go provided you are focused on your vision and committed to your dream. You will discover the answers as you go and learn as you move forward.

Remember, until you know how to accomplish something, you have to learn how to do it in the first place. You can only learn how to do something or to succeed at something is to put yourself in a position to accomplish it. Get started, get busy, and enjoy the journey!!