How to find what you are looking for

November 14, 2025 by Leave a Comment

We cannot have, do, receive or create in others what does not exist within us first.

Everything we seek — love, affirmation, leadership, approval — must first be discovered from within before it can be fully integrated into our life. Once that essential component exists internally, is understood and assimilated into one’s being, only then will a person be in a powerful position to truly receive it from and share it with others.

How many times have we heard “Happiness starts from within” or “Home is where the heart is” or “You cannot find love until you love yourself first“? Each of these sayings and many more like them are a reminder what we seek in others we must first find in ourselves. As each of us look to others to help us find, discover, celebrate or enjoy those aspects we desire most in our lives, the stark reality is that no one can give us what we haven’t already given ourselves first. Now what? How can I find, discover or create that which is missing from within? Like everything it is a process.

  • Start by identifying those qualities, aspects, or traits you are looking for in another person.
  • Examine your behaviors, self-talk, and actions and evaluate your personal performance in your own life to those qualities.
  • Identify the gaps and define the actions you are going to begin to take that will improve on your own personal performance.
  • Create a standard by which you will begin to treat yourself and help yourself achieve.
  • Put the action plan to work, make changes along the way, while celebrating and measuring your progress.
  • After a while, you will be living your life in the manner you desire and giving you what you need most.
  • Since you are not looking for “it” anymore, you will not be searching it out.
  • When you stop looking for “it” you will find what you are looking for in others and you will be drawn towards those people that exemplify what you valued most. The difference is, you now know what it really is and how it truly manifests itself in your life.

Each of us is responsible for who we are and where we are going. While components of our journey take on paths where we seek in others what cannot find in ourselves, we will not find what we are looking for in others until we first find it within us. It is only then that we can appreciate this gift in others and allow their gifts to manifest themselves within us.

Filed Under: Celebrating Accomplishment, Embrace Responsibility Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

The fix begins with you!!

October 9, 2025 by Leave a Comment

We are ALL members of a very large, diverse, and complex community — the human race. It is unfortunate that we have become so fragmented by ego, hate, fear, despair, judgement and anger. The situation is rapidly becoming more intense and unstable. Even more frustrating is that it seems there isn’t anyone capable of or willing to rising above the choas and guide us through this mess.

It is okay — we don’t need them!!

The only force capable of changing what is destroying and dividing us is ourselves.

The end to this insanity starts with you and me!!

Avoid engaging in actions, comments, behaviors, and decisions that reflect an adverse, disruptive, disrespectful emotional response to the situation.

Why fan the flames of adversity with negative, disrespectful, hurtful comments? What problem does it solve?

Do you honestly believe you are the only one upset, frustrated, disappointed, or angry about the situations we find ourselves in?

What problem does blame, name calling, and finger pointing solve?

You are not alone.

While we do not have the answers yet, they will not be found, discovered, or created by alienating the only people that can help you solve the crisis. The frustrated, disappointed, and angry people standing on the opposite side of the street as you are the only ones who can help you get to a peaceful, intelligent, and sustainable solution. They are just as frustrated, confused, disappointed, and angry as you!

The time has come for each of us, in our everyday lives, to declare that we are and will be committed to bringing superior emotions — love, joy, peace, encouragement, and gentleness — to our world every single day!!

Instead of dividing, judging, hating, or disrespecting be a positive, loving, peaceful, and gentle inspiration to everyone in your world — even the ones you don’t understand.

The lives you touch will be inspired. Only in a state of inspired collaboration can we create a movement of understanding and change.

The first step requires releasing the desire to be right and begin to embrace a commitment to collaborate to find a solution. Standing on the corner screaming out the answer does nothing.

Working in collaboration to discover a solution actually solves problems.

Change begins with me. I am committed to loving, understanding, encouraging, supporting, and listening. Along the way, I hope to learn and discover perspectives and opportunities for change that I did not previously understand were possible. I look forward to the interaction and the experience. Go in peace and give your love to the world!

 

Filed Under: featured, Giving Love Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Interrupting the Interruptions

April 1, 2025 by Leave a Comment

“The disturbers of happiness are our desires, our griefs, and our fears.” -Samuel Johnson

Last week I shared my most recent, surprising, and disruptive experiences with Brandon. Despite this adversity, I was able to forge ahead and have a very productive, fulfilling week. While I suffered for Brandon and his situation, I was also quite focused that the life I was living and the activities I was engaging is was the path I needed to remain on despite the chaos around me.

As I read this quote shared by Gretchen Rubin and her Happiness Project, I immediately reflected back to a paragraph from last week’s thoughts:

Life interrupts our momentum with the biggest of hurts, distractions and challenges. No one enjoys them, looks forward to them, or even asks for them. They come anyway. What you do, where you go, and how you live in the face of these adversities is measured by how effectively you stay on your path as you go through it. Adversities can slow you and distract you — but, they also define you. When the storm hits — be strong, stay focused, and keep moving. Trust your path and you will get through it. And, remind yourself to trust that others are on their very unique path, as well — their journey is not yours to define or manage.

Whether your happiness is being interrupted by external forces or that incessant, internal chatter in your head, the key to remaining focused and on your path is trust. Once you have defined your vision for your life and begin to travel the path toward that vision, the key to staying on course is trust. There will be course corrections, their will be detours and, at times, progress will be slow. This does not mean your vision or your path are flawed or failed. It means you need to trust your choices and your decisions. It means you need to find happiness and peace through the journey — even the confusing, challenging, and difficult parts. And, it means that you need to interrupt those forces — internal or external — that are attempting to derail you along the way by reminding yourself why you defined this path and what you are driving towards.

When you interrupt the interrupters with a focused, committed confidence, you experience peace, joy and happiness in maintaining your effort.

 

Filed Under: Maintaining Focus, Make A Commitment, Managing Adversity Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,