Stop fighting a battle that’s not yours to fight!

August 4, 2025 by 6 Comments

When my son’s life first took a dramatic, addiction-related turn, many of the early casualties were my hopes and dreams I envisioned for him. From the time he was a boy, I envisioned the man he would become. His personality traits, unique skills, passions and interests reinforced my dreams. Then suddenly all that went out the window as addiction took over this wonderful person.

It is incredibly painful to watch your hopes and dreams appear to die. It is extremely difficult to release your hold on what you believed was possible for this child you raised. Not only are you witnessing a life interrupted, but you begin to fight for the life that could have been.

It can be even harder in this season to remember that God still has a plan – a GOOD plan - for your child’s life; and, that he has a good plan for yours as well. What you are witnessing is how God’s plans and your plans conflict. Regardless of how painful the current situation is and the impact of this unexpected, difficult path, you and your child are in God’s hands.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV)

When I was in the worst stages of my experiences with my son’s addiction, I felt completely powerless and helpless over his actions. I did everything I could to short-circuit or interrupt this freefall that had become his new path. Until I discovered this verse and reflected upon it. Did I believe it? What kind of future and hope did my son have now?

Instead of praying, “God please help me save my son,” I decided to change my prayer. I gave thanks to God for his plans: “God, I don’t know what you have in store for my son; but, I am grateful you have a plan for his life.” I gave it to God. Instead of wrestling for control over a life that I have no control over, I thankfully left it up to God to work his plan. Immediately, a calm and peace washed over me. I have prayed that prayer several times as the stresses of events washed over me. Each time, I found peace in the reality that this is God’s plan and I need to learn to trust in him.

“There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand.” (Proverbs 19:21 NKJV)

God has a wonderful plan for our lives and for the lives of our children. Releasing your hold on how you thought life would turn out for your child and submitting to the unknown of God’s plan for both of you are massive steps of faith. And faith is not faith if you see the path and end result clearly. What we are living and experiencing in these moments of grief and loss and pain are but a small segment of a very large picture. God has the canvas and he is the painter. Paintings in process look messy, difficult, and often resemble little of the finished product. Instead of trying to wrestle control of the brush, we can practice waiting and watching in awe at the master’s work, and find joy and gratitude in his vision – his Master Painter’s eye – for our lives.

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Are you the parent of a child addicted to drugs or alcohol? The emotional rollercoaster of addiction is not God’s best for you or your family. Dave Cooke is an Addiction Coach and an internationally recognized speaker. Let him show you how to move your family back on track in a healthier direction by applying Christian principles. To contact Dave for private coaching, go to http://www.100pedals.com/coaching/ or email [email protected]. You’ll be amazed what a difference an hour with Dave can make in your life!

Are you on Dave’s email list? If you’d like to receive his monthly newsletter for the parents of addicted children and weekly blog post notifications, email [email protected]

 

Filed Under: Addiction, Christian living, featured, Giving Love, Lessons In Addiction, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Personal Insights, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Parents, Praise Your Way to Success!

July 28, 2025 by 2 Comments

“This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice in it and be glad.” (Psalm 118:24, NAB)

What’s bugging you today? I’ll bet it’s something that happened in the past. Or maybe the future isn’t turning out the way you planned. But the future isn’t here yet, and the past is gone. All you have is the present moment. Today. Why not rejoice and be grateful for it? After all, the Lord made it.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t work toward a better future. You can. And I’ll tell you how to do that later in this blog post. But first, appreciate this day and how far you’ve come on your healing journey as the Christian parent of an addicted child.

What probably bugs you most about addiction is the lack of control. It doesn’t matter how much you want to control everything. You can’t. So let go. You’ll only succeed at what you can control.

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:31-34, NKJV)

This scripture tells you exactly what you control. You control how often you seek the righteousness of God every day. You control how often you thank God for the blessings he gives you every day.

After you’ve rejoiced over this day, sought the righteousness of God, and thanked him for his daily blessings, begin to praise him. Praise is a Christian’s secret weapon.

“And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed those who should sing to the Lord, and who should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army and were saying: ‘Praise the Lord, For His mercy endures forever.’ Now when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against the people of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah; and they were defeated.” (2 Chronicles 20:21-22, NKJV)

“But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed.” (Acts 16:25-26, NKJV)

What you can’t control is every aspect of your child’s addiction. But what you can control is mighty powerful. Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice! Then praise your way into tomorrow. When you do, you’ll make it an even better day than today.

Think about it. Now anything is possible. That’s Godly success. Don’t you love it?!

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Are you the parent of a child addicted to drugs or alcohol? The emotional rollercoaster of addiction is not God’s best for you or your family. Dave Cooke is an Addiction Coach and an internationally recognized speaker. Let him show you how to move your family back on track in a healthier direction by applying Christian principles. To contact Dave for private coaching, go to http://www.100pedals.com/coaching/ or email [email protected]. You’ll be amazed what a difference an hour with Dave can make in your life!

Are you on Dave’s email list? If you’d like to receive his monthly newsletter for the parents of addicted children and weekly blog post notifications, email [email protected]

Filed Under: Addiction, Christian living, featured, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

How to Create a Successful Vision for Your Family

June 30, 2025 by Leave a Comment

Focusing on what’s truly important can be a difficult task for the parent of an addicted child. Your world has been turned upside down by addiction. You’re overwhelmed with new problems, expectations, obstacles, and pressures. You try to tackle all of these challenges. They all seem important. But it’s too much.

Many things in life appear to be important. However, until you’ve clearly defined a successful vision for yourself and your family, you really don’t know what’s important and what’s not. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Clarity in the midst of chaos begins with a healthy, positive vision for you and your family. Here’s how to start:

• Create a successful vision for your life and your family
• Break your vision down into small goals
• Break each goal down into a series of daily steps
• Write down your vision, goals, and steps to track your progress
• Tackle one step each day
• Don’t allow anything to interrupt or distract you during that time
• Don’t try to multitask
• Just focus on your objective for that day
• Any amount of time spent working on a daily step is a success
• Celebrate your progress and accomplishments

The parent of an addicted child is under tremendous pressure. You were already a busy person. When addiction entered your family it not only placed additional demands on your time and energy but also created new problems.

As you define your vision, you’ll realize several of these new problems and challenges aren’t important. They’re merely distractions. Walk away from any distraction that prevents you from achieving your goals and manifesting your vision.

Take the time today to do some serious thinking about how to move you and your family forward again in a positive direction. That’s your vision. Break that vision down into small goals. Then divide each goal into a series of achievable steps. Commit to working on one step every day.

And that’s it. Now you and your family are back on the path to success. Wow! That’s a relief, isn’t it?

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Is your child addicted to drugs or alcohol? Are you trapped on the emotional rollercoaster of addiction? Dave Cooke can help. He’s an Addiction Coach and an internationally recognized speaker. Let him show you how to create an action plan that will move you, your family, and your addicted child back on track in a healthier direction. To contact Dave for private coaching, go to http://www.100pedals.com/coaching/ or email [email protected].

Are you on Dave’s email list? If you’d like to receive his monthly newsletter for the parents of addicted children and weekly blog post notifications, email [email protected]

Filed Under: Addiction, featured, Focusing On Your Vision, Inspirational Perspectives, Learning From Experience, Maintaining Focus, Parenting, Parenting & Addiction, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,